Wingnut Lady Shoots Self Dead While Adjusting Boob-Gun

Happy Thursday, you Wonkers sure are looking nice today! Did you hear about the wingnut lady in Michigan who kilt herself dead while adjusting her boob-gun? You need to read that right now. More stories? Lookit! 1. Convicted felon Dinesh D'Souza thought it would be a good idea to call President Obama "ghetto." He said this FROM JAIL. 2. Kaili wrote beautiful fan fiction about what probably happened when Elizabeth Warren and Hillary Clinton had their super secret meeting this week. 3. Your Pentagon spent $84 million of your tax moneys to help dudes get boners last year.  4. You won't have to worry about any Oklahoma kids being S-M-R-T when they ban AP History forever. 5. Rand Paul has a great new plan for running for President and losing. 6. Pat Robertson needs all you expectant parents to know that witches will curse your fetus babbies if you post their ultrasounds on Facebook. AND SO MUCH MORE! Come visit your Wonkette and read all the words and stuff! Once you're done with that, obsessively refresh the page and soak in all the new content, you know the drill. . . . Hey, you know our awesome Elizabeth Warren coffee mug? We're now making the same design available on tee shirts, for both the mens and the womens! Also, we hope you'll consider making a donation to Yr Wonkette, so we can keep bringing you the finest snark and political commentary in America (according to experts including us). We are not comfortable asking for money. You are not comfortable being asked. Click that there link, and we can all just pretend we never talked about it. Needless to say, you can follow us on the Facebook! And the Twitters! See a Wonkette story you like? Remember to share it with the handy-dandy buttons at the top of the post, so that we might be blessed with all the social media monetizations! Hey, look! It's our new coffee cup! AND our even newer t-shirt! Thank you for reading Wonkette. We love you.