Idaho Lady Tries To Beat, Choke Jewish Woman Into Personal Relationship With Jesus

Happy Tuesday, Wonketariat! Are you snowed in? At least two of your Wonkettes are, so GREAT, you have time to read all of the merry missives from Monday, like this story about a nice Idaho lady who was just trying to help her Jewish friend fall in love with Jesus, so she tried to beat and choke her. More stories? Look! 1. Barack Obama is neither the Antichrist nor a suspected rapist. Everyone is sorry for getting those stories so dang wrong! 2. Alabama's Roy Moore is just going to have to appeal that eventual SCOTUS marriage ruling to God directly, whereupon he will lose once again. 3. Here is a remarkably stupid company called Seasalt & Co., and they will sue you for bitching about their racist lynching ad. 4. Rick Perry seems to be serious about trying to be president again, LOL. 5. John Boehner explains that the current Benghazi investigation, the EIGHTH one, is not about trying to hurt Hillary Clinton, but simply because they are obsessed with Benghazi. AND SO MUCH MORE! Come visit your Wonkette and read all the words and stuff! We'd say there's a caption contest and maybe you could try your hand at it, but you'll probably suck at it, so never mind. . . . Hey, you know our awesome Elizabeth Warren coffee mug? We're now making the same design available on tee shirts, for both the mens and the womens! Also, we hope you'll consider making a donation to Yr Wonkette, so we can keep bringing you the finest snark and political commentary in America (according to experts including us). We are not comfortable asking for money. You are not comfortable being asked. Click that there link, and we can all just pretend we never talked about it. Needless to say, you can follow us on the Facebook! And the Twitters! See a Wonkette story you like? Remember to share it with the handy-dandy buttons at the top of the post, so that we might be blessed with all the social media monetizations! Hey, look! It's our new coffee cup! AND our even newer t-shirt! Thank you for reading Wonkette. We love you.