What happens in space doesn't have to stay there (
Image Source)
Space travel has always been risky business. Whether flying to the moon or orbiting Earth, an astronaut's job is complex, rewarding—and most of all, insanely dangerous. Of course, not every problem in space results in disaster. Astronauts are human, and human beings make silly mistakes from time to time. So, what happens when a silly mistake meets zero gravity?
As you read on, you may recall embarrassing moments in your life, and I believe you'll come away just grateful that, if nothing else, you had gravity on your side.
1. Astronaut gets Diarrhea in Zero Gravity
There were many "firsts" achieved by the Apollo 8 astronauts—the 3 man crew that successfully orbited the moon in 1968, helping set the stage for the first lunar landing the following year.
Along with many extraordinary accomplishments, there's one that historians won't recall in 100 years, when astronaut
Frank Borman contributed "uncontrollable diarrhea in zero-g."
Not surprisingly, fellow astronauts weren't exactly thrilled about what happened—they were even less excited about having to inform mission control of the incident. Remember, this was mankind's first mission to the moon, and the whole world was tuned in. How, they pondered, could they tell NASA what happened without alerting the entire world?
Luckily, astronauts are smart. They decided to mention Borman's bowel issues on the (ironically-named) "tape dump," which was used to keep mission control up-to-speed on mundane tasks—like checking oxygen, cleaning, etc. Astronauts would make a voice recording with the details, speed it up, and turn a 10+ minute recording into 1 minute of unintelligible chipmunk-jabber. Mission control would listen and record the sped-up audio and play it back at normal speed at a later time. Imagine their surprise when, mission control heard something along the lines of "Um yeah... so, astronaut Borman has diarrhea."
Something similar, and way more hilarious, happened in this real conversation (via NASA)
NASA officials are known for keeping their cool the midst of terrifying, sometimes life or death, situations, but one can guess that "diarrhea in zero-g on the way to the moon" was not one of those times. Hopefully they held it together better than Borman did.
2. Moon Rocket Gets Struck by Lightning During Launch
Indeed, Apollo 12 was NASA's second successful moon landing, but many people don't know that the rocket got
struck by lightning not once, but twice, before launch. How did a 6.2 million pound, fully fueled Saturn V rocket survive two lightning strikes and still take its crew to the moon in one piece? The world may never know.
NASA, of course, had serious reason for concern. The lightning strikes spared the crew and the rocket, but mission control worried that the spacecraft's parachute system—more specifically, the pyrotechnics responsible for deploying the parachutes after reentry—may
have been compromised. Instead of a gentle ocean landing, the spacecraft would crash into the water at unsurvivable speeds. Luckily, mission control had a plan... right?
No,
not even close. NASA knew there was nothing they could do if the parachutes were damaged. Rather than spoiling the astronauts' fun, they had little choice but to let them fly to the moon
unaware of the problem. Luckily, the spacecraft landed without a hitch—functional parachutes and all. The crew weren't told about the near-catastrophe after the fact.
3. Astronaut Gets Mad, Tells Mission Control to "Go to Hell"
Space travel can be stressful, even without lightning strikes and loose stool in zero-g; Spacecraft are cramped, complex machines, requiring years of training to operate. With all that pressure, it's understandable that someone will eventually snap. In this case, astronaut Wally Schirra—who, coincidentally, was on his last mission and had publicly announced his intention to retire from NASA—decided to tell mission control to
"go to hell."
Schirra—an expert pilot, and original Mercury 7 astronaut—helped redesign the Apollo command module after the
tragic Apollo 1 fire. The fire, which happened in 1967, killed three astronauts, all friends of Schirra, during a routine ground test. Knowing the degree of his own expertise—and his impending retirement—Schirra's patience for NASA's bureaucracy had waned thin. During the Apollo 7 mission, one mission controller complained about his attitude; It was then that Schirra told the controller, among other things, to go to hell.
To his credit, Schirra's leadership as commander of Apollo 7 was otherwise outstanding. Even NASA knew they had made the right choice—remember, this was the
first manned spaceflight after the Apollo 1 fire, and the entire future of the space program was riding on the mission. In the end, it was a complete success and allowed the rest of the Apollo program to proceed.
4. Astronaut Has Bad Gas, Complaints Overheard
During the Apollo 16 mission—the fifth (and 2nd to last) moon landing—commander John Young
experienced bad gas. "I have the farts again," he complained mid-moonwalk, while blaming his high citrus diet. He laughed, adding "I haven't eaten this much citrus fruit in 20 years!" and, "I'll tell you one thing. In another f****ng 12 days, I ain't never eating any more!" He was totally unaware that his every word was being transmitted to mission control, and would be dredged up later on.
Young on the moon (via NASA)
He thought fellow astronaut Charlie Duke was the only one listening, but he didn't know his microphone was transmitting to mission control. As such, his citrus-induced bout of flatulence was forever enshrined in the history of space exploration.
5. Astronauts Angry Over Workload Takes Day Off
In December of 1973, astronauts aboard space station Skylab broke all protocol and, quite literally, started
the first mutiny in outer space.
For some background, the 84-day mission would set a new record for the most days spent in space by humans, and those days were to be filled with an amount of work, on a strict schedule—including 16-hour workdays. When the team fell behind, mission controllers blamed them for their inefficiency and refused to allow any meaningful downtime. Exhausted and angry, they took matters into their own hands.
Six weeks into their mission, the astronauts notified mission control that they were taking an unscheduled day off—and switched off radio communications. For the rest of the day, they kicked back, leaving mission control in the dark.
The following day, the crew reestablished communication and presented a list of demands. "We need more time to rest,"
explained astronaut Gerald Carr. "We need a schedule that's not quite so packed; We don’t want to exercise after a meal; We need to get the pace of things under control." Having no other option, mission control submitted to the crew's demands, and an agreement was reached that ultimately gave the astronauts more autonomy over their time, and work.
NASA, of course, learned its lesson. Scheduled downtime was incorporated into all plans going forward, and more attention was given to astronauts' mental well-being. Sadly—though perhaps not surprisingly—none of the mutineer astronauts
were allowed to fly in space again.
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